Aggregate Death
Inches from Death: 10 Close Call GIFs that Will Make You Feel Alive
Sometimes we just need some reminders that we’ve all been inches from death on multiple occasions. Here are some happy reminders: 
Five Fabulous Artisan Urns
Today’s guest post is written by Adrienne Crowther, Founder and Owner of Shine On Brightly:
As cremation rates continue to soar, we see more and more of the same old urns on every shelf, and on every website.
Not all cremation urns are the same……although most of the mass-produced urns look the same! Here are five urns that I think are fabulous. They’re all handmade by artists with quality, devotion, time, and care. Just as the homemade apple pie tastes of the love and care with which it is made, so is true with hand-crafted art pieces.
Fabulous Urn # 1: “Earth and Sky” Ceramic Urn
This unique design features a watertight flower insert, which can be used to hold natural or silk flowers. The vessel is hollow, to hold ashes throughout, and the flower insert can be siliconed into the slot to ensure that the contents are secured within the piece. Dimensions: 10″”h x 11″”w 230 cubic inches
Fabulous Urn #2: “Riverstone Urn” Ceramic Urn
These gorgeous ceramic urns are thrown on the potter’s wheel using a fine white earthenware clay. The firing process is influenced by Mexican and Native American pit firing technique and Korean, Chinese and Japanese Bizen traditions. These are truly the most beautiful urns we’ve seen that are made with this technique. While the Riverstone Urn is great for the standard Adult Size, mini-Keepsake Riverstone Urns, and Double Size (Companion Urn) Riverstone Urns are also available. Dimensions: Approximately 7.5″H x 9″W Capacity: 200 cubic inches
Fabulous Urn #3: “Faithful Friend” Wood Urn
This is one of the most exquisite wooden vessels we’ve seen yet! Not only is the format a wonderfully inventive concept, but the craftsmanship is impeccable. The round case sits on two graceful legs of ebony, which is also used at the top of the case as hinges for the doors which swing up and out diagonally. Open the case to fine a strikingly elegant vessel to hold the remains. Its unique shape, velvety smooth surface, and swirl patterns inherent in this wood combine to make this a stunning piece for any collector. Dimensions: approximately 15.5 high x 15 wide x 7 deep
Fabulous Urn #4: Blue Venetia Glass Cremation Urn
This is a very graceful piece. The wavy fanning lid sits atop a lovely round globe of rich color. This piece is available in the following colors: angel white with silver accent, blue with silver leaf, yellow, and amethyst with silver leaf. Dimensions: 9″” x 11″ Capacity: 254 cubic inches
Fabulous Urn #5: Large “Flowers” Bronze Cremation Urn
These exquisite bronze urns are cast in the ancient form of Lost Wax Method to produce museum quality, fine art castings. They are first created in clay, and then cast in bronze. All urns are cast to order and will require 4 to 6 weeks to complete. This artist is also available for creating completely customized, one-of-a-kind pieces. The large sized “Flowers” urn is suitable for an adult. It can be sealed upon request. Dimensions: 9.25″ high, 8.5″ diameter Capacity: 202 cubic inches; weighs 13.5 oz.
*****
Shine On Brightly (www.shineonbrightly.com) is an online gallery for artist made cremation urns and memorials. The company is committed to marking our lives with beauty and art. Every person is unique, and so should be the object that memorializes a loved one. The online collection features several outstanding new designs straight from the artists’ studios. Adrienne Crowther is the Founder and Owner of Shine On Brightly.
Barbie Doll Mummification: A how-to guide for morbid children
This from Geyser of Awesome:
If you’re looking for an awesome rainy day or ‘It’s way too hot to go outside today’ activity, why not have a go at Barbie doll mummification? It’s all kinds of morbid, geeky fun. Heather and her daughter Izzy started with a trip to the library and some research to create an adorably macabre step-by-step “How to Make a Mummy” list. Then the gathered and/or made all the necessary materials. Barbie’s internal organs and ceremonial death mask are paper cutouts. They used a seam ripper in place of the special tool that ancient Egyptians used to pull the brain out through the nose and a shoebox for the sarcophagus and burial chamber. They also included a tiny toy kitty, because they were sacred to the Egyptians and sometimes part of the burial process.
Visit the Kids Activities Blog for additional photos and a complete description of the Barbie mummification process.
The Corpse Bride of Mexico: Is this a dead girl or a mannequin?
This from Oddity Central:
La Pascualita or Little Pascuala is a bridal mannequin that has “lived” in a store window in Chihuahua, Mexico for the past 75 years. That is quite a long time for a bridal gown shop to retain a mannequin, but then the dummy has a rather strange history behind it.
La Pascualita was first installed in the store window on March 25th, 1930, dressed in a spring-seasonal bridal gown. Soon, people realized that the mannequin closely resembled the shop’s owner at the time, Pascuala Esparza. It didn’t take long for them to come to the conclusion that the dummy was in fact the embalmed body of her daughter, who had died recently on her wedding day after being bitten by a Black Widow spider. This revelation did not go very well with the locals, and they started to express their disapproval. But by the time Pascuala could issue an official statement denying the rumors, it was too late. Nobody was willing to believer her. The daughter’s name has been lost over time, and ‘La Pascualita’ stuck through the years.
Here are the photos:
Here are my thoughts:
1. Embalming. We’ve seen Lenin and other famous corpses last for years upon years, BUT their bodies have been meticulously cared for by people in the know. Sure, an embalmed body might last a couple years, but for it to be kept in pristine condition, it would have to be continuously cared for by people with some degree of technical skill. If La Pascualita is a corpse, seventy-five years is an impossibly long time for it to remain in such good condition.
2. Climate. A consideration in the longevity of an embalmed corpse is the climate it’s in. If it’s in a dry, arid environment it has a longer chance of lasting (example, the Egyptian mummies). La Pascualita is located in Chihuahua, Mexico, which “lies on the western side of the Chihuahuan Desert ecoregion and as such has a semiarid climate.” Moisture is the kryptonite of an embalmed corpse. The fact that La Pascualita exists in a semiarid environment does help the argument that it’s an embalmed corpse.
3. The hands. If La Pascualita is a wax mannequin or any other type of mannequin, the hands are just too intricate.
4. The facial features. When you embalm a person “hard” (thoroughly flush them with strong embalming fluid), the lips and the eyelids will noticeably “dry out.” They will start to act like a piece of beef jerky in that all the moisture will leave the tissue, leaving it shrunken and wrinkled. IfLa Pascualita is embalmed, the facial features would probably be noticeably dried out. The face simply looks too supple. Of course, the “drying out” could be fixed with the right kind of cosmetology wax.
5. My conclusion. I doubt La Pascualita is a corpse. It simply looks too good to be a 75 year old embalming job. If the corpse is meticulously maintained, I suppose it’s possible (especially in a semiarid environment), but it highly unlikely.
Honestly, though, those hands are the mystery for me. They just look too real.
Cheeky Obit Begins with This Line: “McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature!”
WEST PITTSTON — McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature!
Kevin J. McGroarty, 53, of West Pittston, died Tuesday, July 22, 2014, after battling a long fight with mediocracy.
Born 1960 in the Nesbitt Hospital, he was the bouncing baby boy of the late Lt. Col. Edward M. McGroarty and Helen Jane (Hudson) McGroarty, whom the New York Times should have noted as extraordinary parents.
He was baptized at St. Cecilia Church, Exeter, which later burned to the ground, attended Butler Street Elementary, which was later torn down, and middle school at 6th Street in Wyoming, now an apartment building.
He enjoyed elaborate practical jokes, over-tipping in restaurants, sushi and Marx Brother’s movies. He led a crusade to promote area midget wrestling, and in his youth was noted for his many unsanctioned daredevil stunts.
He was preceded in death by brother, Airborne Ranger Lt. Michael F. McGroarty, and many beloved pets, Chainsaw, an English Mastiff in Spring 2009, Baron, an Irish Setter in August 1982, Peter Max, a turtle, Summer 1968; along with numerous house flies and bees, but they were only acquaintances.
McGroarty leaves behind no children (that he knows of), but if he did their names would be son, “Almighty Thor” McGroarty; and daughter, “Butter Cup Patchouli.”
McGroarty was a veteran of the advertising industry since 1983. McGroarty was a pioneer in Apple computing, purchasing one of the first in the Wyoming Valley in 1985. He would like to remind his friends: “Please, don’t email me, I’m dead.”
McGroraty was a founding partner of Pyramid Advertising, and finally principal owner of award-winning Rhino Media until 2006. He was also an adjunct instructor at Luzerne County Community College, from 2005-2009.
He will be laid to rest at Mount Olivet Cemetery, section 7N. He asks to please make note of his new address. McGroarty’s headstone reads: “I’ll Be Right Back,” one of his favorite sayings. He leaves this world with few regrets, one being told in grade school, his adult life would see the Hershey candy bar rise in cost to over a dollar. He maintained given the resources and initiative, he would rally the good citizens of the Commonwealth to a revolution that would force that price to its original 35-cent market value, a dream he was not able to fulfill, by his own admission the reason: “I was distracted by many beautiful women.”
In lieu of flowers, friends are asked to please give generously to the Pennsylvania State Police Troop “P” Camp Cadet Fund.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 10 a.m. Monday in St. Cecilia Church of St. Barbara Parish, 1700 Wyoming Ave., Exeter, following a brief rant of how the government screwed up all of the Bugs Bunny cartoons trying to sensor violence. This will be presented by his attorney, Bret Zankel, Esq. Friends may call from 9 to 10 a.m. Monday in the church.
McGroarty leaves behind a thought for all to ponder, given years of gathering wisdom from different religions and deep study of the Greek philosophers: “It costs nothing to be nice” and “Never stick a steak knife in an electrical outlet.”
Arrangements by the Metcalfe-Shaver-Kopcza Funeral Home Inc., 504 Wyoming Ave., Wyoming.
