Aggregate Death

The Shoebox: A Cute Death Joke

 

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.
‘When we were to be married,’ she said, ‘ my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.’

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two Precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two Times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with Happiness.

‘Honey,’ he said, ‘that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?’

‘Oh,’ she said, ‘that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.’

10 Funny Death Quips

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Worst Rollercoast Ride Ever.

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Via The Mirror UK: 

Rollercoaster passengers were showered with blood after a deer stumbled onto the track of Europe’s longest rollercoaster and was hit by one of its carriages.

The wild animal had managed to get over a perimeter fence at Lightwater Valley theme park near Ripon in North Yorkshire.

It was hit reportedly decapitated by one of the carriages of The Ultimate, which hurtles through the forest for over one-and-a-half miles for seven minutes at speeds of over 50mph.

The £5million ride, which was opened in 1991 was closed after the accident on Sunday morning but no-one was injured.

A spokeswoman for Lightwater Valley said: “We can confirm a young deer did unfortunately get hit by The Ultimate train yesterday and was killed instantly

 

Death Facts: Part 36

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21 Ironic and Coincidental Celebrity Deaths

Sourced from Quora:

 

All these are hypothetical of course.

Somebody looked for Liam Neeson, found him and killed him.

M. Night Shyamalan lives into his 80s, then dies in a hospital bed of old age, with no sudden surprises at the end.

Leonardo DiCaprio, slips on his way to receiving his first Oscar, gets hit on his head and departs.

Robert Downey Jr. dying of anaemia (iron deficiency).

The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) dies from a paper cut.

Johnny Depp is killed by pirates.

“Chris Brown was beaten to death by a woman last night.”

Uma Thurman killed by a man named Bill.

Mick Jagger killed by a rolling stone.

Benedict Cumberbatch falling from a building.

John Travolta shot in the head in the backseat of a car.

Bill Gates dies waiting for a webpage to open on Explorer.

Michael Phelps drowns.

Keifer Sutherland killed by terrorists.

Bear Grylls‘ grisly death by bear while grilling Grilled Grizzly Bear.

Hugh Laurie / House MD dies of lupus!

Daniel Radcliffe: Dies while watching a magic show.

Denzel Washington: Killed by a white man, who secretly, was his slave.

Kenny doesn’t die.

In the days and weeks following Chuck Norris’ suicide, he dies after getting revenge upon his killer.

All of this while this man continues to live forever.

 

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