Caleb Wilde

Caleb Wilde

(218 comments, 980 posts)

I'm a sixth generation funeral director. I have a grad degree in Missional Theology and a Certification in Thanatology.

And I like to read and write.

Connect with my writing and book plans by "liking" me on facebook. And keep tabs with my blog via subscription or twitter.

Posts by Caleb Wilde

Death Facts: Part 64

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10 Things You Should Know about Cremation

One.  No such thing as DIY.

In many counties in the US, it’s difficult to get a permit to burn leaves, yet alone a human body.  There are DIY funerals and green burials (which have a large degree of family and friend involvement), but when it comes to cremation you’ll need to use a cremation provider.

Many cremation providers will allow you to witness the cremation (the retort isn’t made of glass, so you won’t see anything nightmarish).  Some cremation providers will even allow you to activate the retort and start the cremation.

In some European countries, it’s the custom to wait at the crematory until the cremation is finished; once complete, you take the cremated remains home with you while they’re still warm.

Two. Crestone, Colorado is the place to go …

… if you want to (legally) cremate outdoors on a pyre.  The body is surrounded by juniper logs and branches and set aflame.  It’s the only outdoor funeral pyre in the US and can only be used by local residents.  It’s offered by Crestone End of Life Project, which asks for a $425 donation for each cremation.  Per US-Funerals.com, “It takes about four to five hours for a body to burn completely, and as there is no way to separate the human ashes from the wood ash, the family receive about five gallons of ashes.”

Three.  Price Standards

One of my major gripes with the funeral industry is the utter lack of price standardization.  You can go to a funeral home and pay $15,000 for a funeral; and you can drive down the street to another funeral home and get the very same funeral for half the cost.

The nice thing with cremation is that there is some degree of price standardization; enough that you should be able to distinguish between a legitimately fair priced cremation and a total rip-off.  If you JUST want a cremation (what funeral directors call a “direct cremation with no funeral service”), you should be able to do so for under $3,000.  In some places, you can have a direct cremation for under $1,000.

Four.  Pacemakers Explode

They will explode when cremated and can cause upwards of $10,000 of damage to the retort.  So, pacemakers need to be removed before cremation.  And don’t worry, the funeral directors/cremationists will do the removal for you.

Five.  The Body Doesn’t Need to be Embalmed

As a way to pad their pockets, bad funeral directors want to make you think that embalming is ALWAYS required.  It isn’t.  In fact, the Federal Trade Commission’s “Funeral Rule” states explicitly that funeral directors need to disclose that embalming is your choice.  And if you want cremation, there’s absolutely no reason for embalming.  But, be aware, that if you use a funeral home and want a public viewing, you’ll likely need your loved one embalmed.

Six.  But you Can Have Embalming, a Public Viewing and then Cremation

This option has gained some popularity because it allows for a public viewing and is less expensive than a traditional burial.  With this option, you don’t need to purchase a casket (most funeral homes have rental caskets), you don’t need to purchase a grave lot (although you still can if you wish), you don’t need to purchase a vault and you don’t need to pay for the opening and closing of the grave.  In Rob Lowe “Parks and Rec” voice: It can literally save you thousands .

Seven.  Super Obese Persons May Cost More

“Super obesity” is the class above “morbid obesity”.  Super obesity is the sad state where the victim can barely move or function.  These types of obesity cases can rarely be cremated in a regular retort and will often have to be cremated in a larger, more specialized retort … which can (and often does) cost more.   

Eight.  You Don’t Need to Buy a Cremation Casket

Crematories (all?) require that the body is placed in some protective container before it is cremated.  Our funeral home simply uses a body bag (a body bag that comes at no charge to the family).  In fact, funeral directors are breaking the “Funeral Rule” if they tell you that state and/or local law require a casket for cremation.

Nine.  Bodies are not cremated together.

There isn’t a two for one special.  One at a time.

Ten.  This is a bad idea:

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35 year old pens obituary. Admits to being Spiderman.

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Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, died from a brain tumor he was diagnosed with in 2011. Aaron’s wife has been documenting his medical battles on myhusbandstumor.com.  She wrote upon his death:

“It’s over. It wasn’t a war or a fight. Those things have rules. This was more like Aaron getting in the ring with the Mohammed Ali of cancers, and smiling for round after round after he got his teeth knocked out and his face rearranged. Ding. It ended today at 2:43pm, in the middle of a run-on sentence, my head on his heart and my arms around him in a hospital bed built for one, but perfect for the two of us.”

Aaron and his wife co-wrote Aaron’s beautiful, witty and droll obituary:

Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city.

His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often.

In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.

A service will be held on December 3, 2014 at Shelter Studios, 721 Harding St. NE, Mpls 55413 at 6 pm.

Here’s a short video of the couple’s love story that was recorded BEFORE Aaron’s death.

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Customized Caskets for Five Children Killed in Texas House Fire

Trey Ganem’s Facebook page reads, “Trey designs the most unique caskets on the market today . He will give that loved one the personalization they deserve to celebrate their life.”

When five children died in a house fire, Trey was asked to design five personalized caskets for each child.  He agreed and did so for free.

Via KHou

One for Noah, an Edna High School varsity football player, whose casket is coated in his school colors, along with his name and jersey number.

Another for Nicholas, who liked video games, and whose casket is lined with the popular game “Call of Duty.”

Julian, who loved WWE professional wrestling.

And the two sisters, Areyanah and Lilyana, who loved different characters from their favorite movie, “Frozen.” Their caskets feature each of their names, with princess crowns on top.

 

Here are some of the pictures:

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Death can bring out the worst; but it can also bring out the best in humanity.

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