Caleb Wilde

Caleb Wilde

(218 comments, 980 posts)

I'm a sixth generation funeral director. I have a grad degree in Missional Theology and a Certification in Thanatology.

And I like to read and write.

Connect with my writing and book plans by "liking" me on facebook. And keep tabs with my blog via subscription or twitter.

Posts by Caleb Wilde

10 Things about the Dangerous Health Hazards of Corpses

1.  Dead body ≠ Doom and Destruction of the Public Health

Under normal circumstances, dead bodies are safe and offer no reasonable danger to the public health.

A dead body offers no more danger than it did when it was living.

2.  In Some Circumstances, Embalming Can Make a Dead Body Safer    

Sure, embalming will kill things like AIDS and the aliens that are hiding out in a host body; but, (for the most part) a dead body is safe sans embalming.  The purpose for embalming is mainly restoration and not primarily public safety.

3.  Universal Precautions

If you ever find yourself touching any body fluids of the dead (or the living) use protective garments like latex gloves.

4.  AIDS

AIDS will live approximately 24 hours in a dead body, unless that body has been embalmed, in which case the embalming fluid will presumably kill it.

5.  Ebola: “bum bum bum bum bummm”

Unlike most pathogens, the Ebola virus lives for an unknown period of time after a victim’s death (ViaScientific American).  Unfortunately, the assumption that the virus dies along with the deceased has been a major cause of its spread in parts of Africa where touching and handling the body is a common practice for the deceased’s living family members.  Some have claimed that ‘Up to 50% of victims catch Ebola at funerals’ (Via RT.com).

We don’t embalm Ebola cases.  We burn them.  With fire.

6.  Hepatitis B and hepatitis C, enteric intestinal pathogens, tuberculosis, cholera, smallpox.

A dead body can still harbor all of these horrors.  Unless you really know the person (or are using protective gear), it’s not smart to touch the body fluids (blood, spit, etc.) of living bodies and neither is it smart to touch the body fluids of the dead.

7.  THE DEAD BODIES WILL POISON THE WATER SUPPLY!!!

Contamination of a water supply by the dead may result in the spread of gastroenteritis from normal intestinal contents.  But this is very rare and usually only happens when there’s natural disasters and the the bodies are everywhere.

8.  Obviously Zombies.

If you have a zombie on your hands, don’t call your funeral director unless, of course, he looks like Daryl Dixon.

9.  The Miasma theory isn’t true.

Before the germ theory, most people held to the Miasma theory which is that diseases spread through the air.  In other words, you catch a disease by breathing in bad air.  While there are airborne diseases, we know now that it’s not the air itself but the germs that spread disease.

So, if you smell the horrible smell of a decomposing corpse, it’s not going to kill you.

10.  The Real Danger of an Average Dead Body

The substances cadaverine and putrescine are produced during the decomposition of animal (including human) bodies, and both give off a foul odor.  If you were to ingest 20g of putrescine (the weight of a Chicken Nugget), it would be toxic.   By way of comparison the similar substance spermine, found in semen, is over three times as toxic.

 

Funeral Fail: The Accidental Casket Trapdoor

The trapdoor works fine.

 

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When Funeral Directors Do Good Things

Dan Peeples, the Vice President of Julian Peeples Funeral Homes shared with me this beautiful, little good deed.

He writes,

I was on my way to the church for the funeral of a 36 year old firefighter. As I’m driving the family car, the little 5 year old son says, “Mommy, I thought daddy was going to get me that whoopie cushion toy that I wanted?”

The mom replies “Son, your daddy is in heaven now. Maybe I’ll try to buy you one, some day.”

After I dropped the family off at the church, I made a quick errand down the street to the Dollar Store.

Here is what will be sitting in the car seat when the little boy gets back in the family car, after his daddy’s funeral.

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Man Killed by Falling Gravestone

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I’m not a fan of huge grave monuments.  Freud talked about them being a phallic symbol of pride (i.e. an afterlife form of dick measuring) and I’d have to agree with him.  Large and grandiose monuments seem to say, “my dead body is more important than your dead body.”

And while large monuments may be superfluous, they can also become deadly.

In the Northern States of the US, when spring comes the ground begins to thaw from the long winter and it becomes mushy and uneven … and, at times, unstable (can anyone say, “Potholes”?)

When there’s a large stone on top of said unstable ground, that stone can fall.

Via The News Station:

THROOP — A man decorating a gravesite for Easter died Monday morning when a headstone fell on him in Lackawanna County.

Police say Stephen Woytack, 74, of Scranton was the man killed at St. Joseph’s Cemetery in Throop.

Throop police say Stephen Woytack was kneeling beside his mother-in-law’s headstone as his wife was on the other side, tying a cross on with string. The stone fell on Woytack, killing him.

Kubilus (the caretaker at St. Joseph’s Cemetery) says each spring when the ground begins to thaw, some of the bases tilt and the stones on top can slip.

“I’ve come over and saw six stones fall from the winter. Winter, and the ground gets soft and the stones fall over and you have somebody come and pick them up.”

 

Drowning in the Waves of Grief

Waves crash over you, throwing body and mind

In chaotic directions of darkness and pain.

You were made for the land and so you hold your breath

As you claw your feet into the ground.

The currents pull you out deeper and deeper

Each gasp is met by another wave of details and emotions.

What do we do now?

“Gasp”

When should we have the funeral?

“Gasp”

Should I go back to work this week?

“Gasp”

How can I raise the kids on my own?

“Gasp”

Death and grief plunge you again into a foreign terrain

Where every breath is struggle.

You weren’t meant for this

Separation

Grief

Death.

You will never see them again

Except in the recesses of your mind where

Memories will be replaying

Scenes that become distorted by time and erosion.

The sleepless nights

“Gasp”

The disingenuous platitudes

“Gasp”

The religious cliches

“Gasp”

The loneliness

“Gasp”

Wave after wave.

You will not accept this.

You will never reach “acceptance”

Of the new normal that threatens the foundations of being

Foundations broken by the waves that rippled

When he/she fell into the depths of the oceans

Leaving you in the wake of the waves.

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