Two Stupid Death Jokes

1.

A man was moving his business across town and one of the owners friends decided to send flowers for the occasion. The flowers arrive at the new business site with a card that read “Rest in Peace”

Furious, the business owner calls the florist to inform them of the mistake. The florist says “Sir, I’m deeply sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry…imagine this; right now there is a funeral taking place today and they have flowers with a note that reads “Congratulations on your new location!”

2.

An old man was lying on his death bed. With only hours to live, he suddenly noticed the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen.

There, the old man’s wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie. His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, “Leave them alone, they’re for the funeral!”